The Cruellest Choice
by captain-ally
Summary: Jack/Ianto - AU. Ianto Jones thinks he has it all, wonderful wife, great kids. But when he meets Jack, he can't resist his charm, and soon his life's changing in ways he could never imagine...until now. Multi chaptered fic - thanks for reading! :D x
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A completely new series; AU. Multi-chaptered fic, will be updating regularly. Thanks so much for reading x**

"Daddy! Daddy!" Ianto Jones' children chorused as he entered their large kitchen. He smiled. He adored his three kids, Joanna, Matthew and John.

"Morning." His wife called. Ianto's smile widened. He and Emily had met at school, and had been married for eleven years. "Toast?" Emily asked him, waving the loaf at him.

"No thanks, darling." He looked at his watch. "Better get going." Just as he was picking up his backpack, his son started wailing in his chair.

"But _daddy_!" Matthew moaned. "You said you'd take me to school! Want my friends to meet you!" Matthew had started his pre-school a month ago, and loved every minute of it. Ianto thought about it.

"Okay, Mattie. I'll take you to school."

"Yay!" Matt bounced up and down in his seat. He was still holding his cup of juice, and it spilled all over his light blue shirt. "Oh." He said, looking down at his stained shirt in dismay, his bottom lip sticking out.

"Uh-oh!" Emily said, scooping Matthew out of his chair. "Lets get you changed young man!" She looked back at her husband as she left the kitchen, Matt in tow. "Make sure Jo and John eat their breakfast, yeah?"

"Sure, Em." Ianto said, pouring himself a coffee and sitting down with it at the table. He looked at his two kids. Joanna was the oldest, at nine. Her gold-blonde hair was falling across her face as she toyed with her cereal. She was singing softly to herself. Ianto always thought she looked like an angel. At that precise moment, Jo looked up and smiled at Ianto, showing her pearly white teeth. Ianto's gaze flicked to John. He'd always been the quietest, the one no one understood. Ianto always found him intriguing. He knew everything about anything. Anything you asked him, he knew. Any answer you needed, he could give you. He was the spitting image of Ianto, right down to the soft brown hair, the blue eyes that always left you speechless. John was seven years old, coming up eight in a few months. But he didn't seem so young. He talked like he knew things you didn't. He talked like he was out of his time. "John?" John jumped straight out of his daydream.

"Yeah, dad?"

"You alright?" Ianto never really knew what to say to John. He _wanted_ to ask him about the voices he hears, the people he sees. But he couldn't do that with Joanna in the room.

"Sure."

"Looking forward to school today?" John thought about it.

"Um…no, not really."

"Why not?"

"Got science today."

"Don't you like knowing how things work, and what makes them work?" Ianto frowned; he thought John would love that kind of thing. He always liked learning knew things. It was a wonder there was any room left in his brain!

"Not at school." Ianto chuckled. This was a normal response, but with John, he questioned it.

"Why not at school?" He asked his son. John leant forward across the table towards his father.

"Because they always get it wrong." He whispered. Ianto stopped. What the hell? How would John know if they were wrong? As he was about to ask John these things, when his other son clattered into the kitchen.

"Hi daddy!" Ianto pulled him onto his lap and tickled his stomach.

"Hey soldier." He fingered the soft wool of his red jumper. "New jumper?" Matthew nodded proudly.

"Mummy said I could wear it."

"_Did_ she now?" Matthew nodded again. Joanna looked up and smiled at them both, but John seemed stuck in his own little world.

"Is Mum dropping you and John off at school?" He asked Joanna.

"Yeah, I have to take my art project in." Ianto leaned over and kissed the top of her head as Matt slid off his lap.

"See you then, sweetheart. Hope the project goes well."

"Thanks dad." She hugged him tight, and then released him and nudged John. He jumped violently. Ianto ruffled his adorable hair, and then hugged him loosely. John was weirdly protective, and hated too much human contact. But today, he hugged his dad happily.

"See you, dad."

"Bye, champ. Have fun at school." John groaned, and Ianto laughed. "Em?" Ianto shouted up the stairs. "I'm just taking Mattie to school, okay?" He could hear his wife fumbling about in their bedroom directly above the kitchen. When he got no response, he rolled his eyes at the kids. "Stay here, Matt. Back in a second, yeah?" Matthew nodded, and sat down at the foot of the stairs. Ianto smiled at him fondly, and climbed up the stairs in search of his wife. "Em?"

"Yeah?" Came her muffled shout.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" He asked, padding into their bedroom. Emily was, in his opinion, pointlessly sorting through endless piles of clothes. All of which belonged to her, of course. How can one woman need so many clothes? She held up a red blouse to her body, and looked in the mirror.

"Does this one look okay?" Ianto crossed the bedroom, and pulled her into his arms.

"Gorgeous." He whispered into her neck. She giggled, and pulled away. "Taking Mattie to school, okay?"

"Sure thing." He smiled at her again. He leaned across and stroked her soft cheeks. He ran his fingers through her silky blonde hair, sighing. "What?"

"Nothing." He said, contently. "Just…I love you."  
"I love you, too, Ianto."

"I know." He said, grinning. He _did _know, and that was what made it so great. "See you later, yeah?"

"Course, darling." She told him, kissing him gently. He stole another before making his way out of the bedroom.

"Bye, babe."

"Love you!" Emily called after him. He stopped, and poked his head around the door.

"I know." He told her, chuckling. He left the house, hand in hand with his son. He breathed in the fresh morning air, and sighed happily. He felt on top of the world. He had everything. Everything he'd ever wanted. Everything he'd ever need. He tried to ignore the tiny part of his heart that protested to this. Maybe not _everything_. But enough. For now.


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto headed into the office he worked at. He worked for his local newspaper, the Daily Light. He was one of the main reporters, and earned a lot of money. He supposed he was very lucky – but he didn't enjoy his work. But then again, who does? He liked the people he worked with – Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper and Owen Harper. Well, Owen annoyed the hell out of him most of the time, but mostly he was an okay kind of guy. Tosh was sat at her desk as Ianto entered their working area. "Hey, Ianto." Ianto smiled at her. Then he looked around at the mostly empty office.

"No Gwen? Or Owen?" He asked. He was used to Gwen being late, but not Owen. He was hardly ever late.

"Gwen, well, I think you can guess…" Ianto smirked. "Owen's already been in. He's off covering a story today."

"Ah." Ianto nodded. "Anything come through for me yet? Any near-death experiences or space pigs from Mars that the public really don't want to know about?" Toshiko smiled.

"Hey, I wouldn't like to be kept in the dark about space pigs!" Ianto laughed. "Steve wants you to finish the article about kid's schools that you were stupid enough to agree to doing!" Ianto grinned at her cheekily, before flopping down at his desk. He flicked his computer on, knowing full well he wasn't going to get any work done today. His head was pounding, and he just wanted to go back home. He dropped his head into his hands, groaning. He felt like he had the worst hangover in the world, though he hadn't had one drink in the past three days. Tosh sensed his bad mood, and tried to say something to cheer him up. She didn't want a whole day of awkward silence. "Owen wants us to come out tonight." Ianto kept his head in his hands, but stopped groaning, signalling that he was listening.

"Meh?" He grunted.

"Yeah…said he's got a…friend he'd like us to meet…James, or Joe…Jack! That was it. Jack Harkness." Ianto looked up.

"Flash name." He commented. "Male, I'm assuming?" Tosh nodded eagerly. Ianto thought about it. "Friend, hey? You're sure Owen isn't going bender?" The look that passed over Tosh's face had Ianto in stitches. She looked shocked, intrigued and tragic all at once.

"No!!!" She said, loudly. "Not a chance."  
"Hmm…" Ianto didn't really know what to say. "And why are you so interested in Owen's…friend?" Like Ianto couldn't guess.

"Apparently he's way fit!" Ianto raised his eyebrows, as Gwen swaggered into the office.

"Who's well fit?" Gwen plonked her handbag down on her desk, and turned to face Tosh.

"Owen's friend." Tosh told her.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and lucky us, we get to go out with them tonight!" Ianto said, sarcastically, flicking a screwed-up post-it note across the room in frustration. Gwen squealed. Tosh giggled; she should be used to Ianto's dry wit by now, but it still got her occasionally.

"Ianto, if you really don't want to do…" Tosh started. Ianto fixed her with a stare. Like he was missing this.

"Nah, I want to meet the guy you two are sure to be gossiping about non-stop for the next two weeks." Gwen laughed.

"Wise. Hey, why don't you invite Emily?" She suggested. Ianto considered it, and then decided against the idea.

"Doesn't sound like her sort of thing. I mean, why would she want to stare at handsome blokes when she has me?" Gwen laughed again. Tosh sighed. Ianto didn't know how right he was. Still, Tosh tried to be nice.

"Owen said it was just a drink…" She told him, but Ianto's mind was made up.

"I don't think we could get a baby sitter."

"Hmm…yeah, suppose you're right. I'll tell Owen you're both in, yeah?" Tosh smiled. She was looking forward to this.

"Yeah!" Gwen said, eagerly. "This is gunna be fun!"

"Gwen," Ianto said, sternly. "Remember, you have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah, yeah." Gwen waved the comment off. "Just keeping my options open."

*

When Ianto got home, he was the last in. He glanced at the clock. Six thirty. Perfect, he was in time to put Matthew and John to bed, say goodnight to Joanna, and then go and meet the others at eight at the local club. He felt like a teenager again, he thought, grinning. As he walked through to the kitchen, all three kids jumped up. "DADDY!" They all squealed, clinging to him. Emily was left sitting at the table on her own.

"Hey kids." Ianto said, kissing them each on the forehead. Then he looked across at his wife, who was smiling at him.

"Good day?" She asked him, as the kids say back down at the table. John was writing; he was on his fifth page in his complicated italic print. Joanna was reading, and Matthew was colouring with fat crayons.

"Hmm…okay, I guess." Ianto told her. He sat down opposite her at the big oak table, John on his left. "Going out for a drink with the usual crowd a bit later, if that's okay?" Ianto didn't have to ask, Emily was already nodding. Man, he loved his wife.

"Yep, fine. In fact, that's perfect. I was gunna ask you to round up a few lads to take out, I've invited Anna over for a gossip later." Ianto nodded, smiling at how well this had worked out.

"OK, well, you're right, that's perfect then." Matthew looked up at his father, worriedly.

"But, daddy, are you gunna be here to tuck me up in bed?" He asked. Ianto nodded.

"Course, champ. I'll be here to put you to bed, and then I'll go out." Matthew grinned at him, he looked so much like his mum when he did that, and turned back to his drawing. Ianto looked across at the colouring. "What are you drawing?"  
"Family portrait." Matthew told him, holding it up proudly. There was himself, and Emily, John and Jo, and Matthew right at the front, grinning widely. "Do you like it, daddy?" He asked.

"You know what, son?" He paused. "I absolutely love it."

"It's the way things are supposed to be." Matthew told him. Ianto smiled, but this comment slightly worried him.

"But…Matt, things aren't going to change, you know that, right?"  
"But John said…" Matthew started, but John gave him such an evil look he fell into silence sharpish.

"John, what…"

"I said nothing." John said quickly. The tone of his voice made Ianto think he had said something, and Ianto knew that whatever it was, he was going to find out.

*

Ianto headed out at quarter to eight. He was wearing his favourite purple shirt, and black waistcoat. He hadn't planned on getting dressed up, but hey, he hadn't had the opportunity in a while. He smiled to himself. This might even be fun. He doubted it, but decided to keep an open mind. When he got to the club, Tosh and Gwen were waiting outside for him. Gwen was wearing a disturbingly sexy red strapless top, and black mini skirt. Tosh was wearing a black skirt too, but hers was longer, and slightly looser, and her top was bright blue and low cut. Ianto winked at her, her skirt wasn't that much longer than Gwen's! Tosh rarely got dressed up, but when she did, it was worth the wait. Ianto hoped Owen noticed how nice Tosh looked tonight. It was no secret that Tosh liked Owen, but it was even more obvious, especially to Toshiko, that the feeling was anything but mutual.

"Hey!" Tosh said.  
"Hello, bloody freezing, isn't it?"

"Well, Ianto, it's not like you're short on offers of cuddling up!" Gwen said, noticing all the attention Ianto was attracting.

"He never is." Tosh said, wistfully. Ianto wasn't quite sure how she meant this, but decided to laugh it off anyway. He hated awkwardness.

"Yeah, sure." Ianto looked around. "Please tell me Owen's already inside and we're just waiting out here for the hell of it." Tosh laughed, and shook her head, sadly.

"No such luck." She told him. Ianto groaned. Just at that moment, Owen walked down the road, dressed all in black. He walked with a swagger that he seemed to (wrongly) think made him look cool.

"Hi guys." He said. They all glared at him. "What, am I a bit late? Tough crowd." Owen joked, and Tosh laughed, just a bit too loudly. "Jack texted me, he's already inside."

"Is that your friend?" Gwen asked, and Owen nodded.

"Smart man." Ianto concluded.

"Well, I guess you could say that." Owen answered seriously. "A better way to describe it is that he just plays his cards right." Owen smirked. Ianto was itching to meet this man, and see if he really was as amazing as Owen made out he was going to be. Ianto sighed. He really doubted it. Although, he thought, as a handsome guy in a big coat made his way towards them as they entered the club, he found he was having second thought. Jack certainly looked like something special…


	3. Chapter 3

Owen grinned at the sight of his friend. He looked at the others. "This is him!" He told them, proudly. "This is Jack." The man reached them, and gave Owen a quick smile.

"Hello, mate. Long time, no see."

"Yeah, Jack. How are things going for you?" Owen clapped him on the shoulder. Ianto swallowed, Jack hadn't even made eye contact with him yet. How could he have already done something wrong?

"Hey, not bad, not bad." Jack looked around at the three people standing behind Owen. He gently nudged Owen out of the way. Ianto got his first real look at him, and sure enough, he definitely liked what he saw… "Jack Harkness." Jack's voice pulled Ianto out of his daydream. He was looking directly at Ianto, and when he extended a hand in a friendly gesture, it went directly to Ianto. He didn't even seem to acknowledge Gwen or Toshiko.

"Ianto Jones." Ianto replied, shaking Jack's hand. When they touched, it was like an electric cord had exploded in Ianto's stomach. He was pretty sure Jack had felt it too, by the look on his face. As they looked deep into each other's eyes, Gwen cut in. As usual. Ianto sighed. It just had to be her. At least if it was Tosh, Ianto would know it was for his benefit, because she thought he looked uncomfortable and was trying to help him out. But with Gwen, it was always about her.

"Gwen Cooper." She beamed, trying to attract his attention. Jack looked at her, and smiled briefly. But then he looked at Toshiko, and his smile grew wider and more genuine. Ianto let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. At last. Jack was in it for Tosh. He liked her. Ianto wasn't sure what he felt in his stomach as he thought about that. It felt wrong. Ianto wasn't quite sure what had come over him. He thought he was happy for Toshiko. But the thought of Jack and Toshiko together set his blood boiling. Was he…he couldn't be…jealous? Could he? His suspicions were confirmed when Jack kissed when Tosh on the hand. How could Jack look at Ianto with those eyes, and then kiss Tosh? But then the question arose…exactly who was he jealous of? Jack…or Tosh? Both ideas seemed impossible. Tosh was his friend, and Jack was…

"Right, I'll get us some drinks, shall I?" Ianto said, quickly. He had to keep talking because otherwise his thoughts would cloud his mind over with questions.

"I'll come with you." Jack said, suddenly. Ianto blinked at him. He hadn't expected _that._

"O-kay. So, what's everyone having?"

"Apple martini." Gwen said, automatically. Owen smiled at her in a way that made Ianto suspicious. He hoped Toshiko didn't see it.

"Vodka and cranberry, cheers." Owen said.

"White wine spritzer." Tosh said. Jack just gave her a look. "I'm driving!" She told him. "I'm staying sober."

"Fine." Jack grunts. "Boring." He said, too quietly for anyone except for Ianto to hear. He followed Ianto to the bar, eyes on his arse as he moved across the dance floor. When they reached the bar, Jack ordered automatically. "Three vodka and cranberries, an apple martini and a white wine spritzer. Cheers." He said to a guy in a tight white top, who smiled back at him. Jack leant against the bar and Ianto got a chance to really look at him. His clothes were basic, if a little old fashioned. But they suited him down the ground. Ianto studied his face carefully. Jack was clearly the kind of guy who would look fantastic in a potato sack. Jack saw him looking. "What?"

"Nothing. You ordered without even asking me what I wanted." Ianto replied, reproachfully.

"Yeah…" Jack moved closer to Ianto. "But it's what you were going to have. And you know it."

"No, I wasn't." Ianto sighed. "I wasn't going to drink tonight. I promised myself I wasn't going to get hammered." Ianto looked straight at Jack. He didn't realise how close he had got until he felt their bodies pressed together. Ianto tried to ignore the lump in his throat that was impossible to swallow, his heart beating faster and faster in his pounding chest.

"But, do you always keep your promises?" Someone bumped into Jack, and the two men were forced closer together, their noses almost touching. Not that either of them were complaining. Ianto's thoughts were all over the place. The main thing he was thinking was 'Oh God, I hope my breath doesn't stink!' He shook his head slowly, teasing.

"Not always…"

"Good." Came Jack's immediate reply. "Because that is just plain boring…"


	4. Chapter 4

Jack and Ianto returned to the group five minutes later, both pink in the face and grinning. "Hey guys." Ianto said, placing Tosh and Gwen's drinks in front of them where they sat on the sofas in the corner of the club. Jack placed Owen's drink on the table, and sat next to Ianto, who was on Owen's left.

"There you go." Jack said, still grinning.

"So how do you two know each other?" Toshiko asked, indicating at Owen and Jack.

"We met at university." Jack told them.

"What were you studying?" Ianto asked him. Jack took a sip of his drink, and then replied.

"Photography." Ianto smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah...I've always loved it; it's what I've wanted to do since I was a kid." Ianto laughed. "And you three work at the newspaper with Owen, yes?" Tosh nodded.

"Unfortunately." Ianto said, grimacing.

"It can't be that bad, can it?" Jack said. Gwen was about to say something when Ianto cut in. He didn't mean to be rude, he just didn't notice Gwen, and she wasn't used to that.

"You might want to see it before you say that."

"Ooh, is that an invitation Mr Jones? Maybe I'll pop by some time..." Jack winked at Ianto, and Owen choked on his drink. Ianto's phone beeped. He pulled out of his pocket, smiling apologetically at the others. He swallowed when he saw it was from Emily. Christ, he hadn't spared her a second thought since he'd gotten here. It was Jack, he filled up all his senses...he didn't have any room for anyone else! It read: _Anna's staying the night, hope that's okay. She and her husband are having problems; you know what they're like. Makes me glad I've got such a wonderful husband! Love you x_. Ianto swallowed again. He wasn't a wonderful husband. If he was, he'd be at home making small talk with his wife, rather than sitting here with an extremely attractive man flirting shamelessly with him. He pocketed his phone. Well, that was the end of his games. He loved Emily. It was obvious he was attracted to Jack, but he could never take it any further. He was committed 100% to Emily and that was the way it was going to stay. He tried to steer the subject away from him. "So, Jack, how old are you?" He asked.

"30 next month. Argh, I'm dreading it." Jack replied, laughing.

"What are you doing for it?" Gwen asked, quickly.

"Oh, nothing much. Just a little party at my place. You four are welcome to come, of course."  
"Hmm...Might take you up on that offer." Gwen said, laughing. Jack smiled back, but it was obvious his heart wasn't in it.

"So...I know Owen's still single, but what about the rest of you?" Jack asked.

"Excuse me; I'm perfectly happy being single!" Owen interjected.

"I'll drink to that." Jack replied, touching his glass to Owen's. "So, Toshiko, single?"

"Yep." Tosh replied, quickly. Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Surprising." Ianto tried to ignore the stab of jealousy that hit him when Jack said that. Tosh smiled, she wasn't used to anyone making that remark. She was used to the whole 'don't worry, you'll find someone soon' and the 'even if you don't, you're still a wonderful person.' "Gwen?" Jack asked.

"Nope. Fiancée. Rhys." Jack smiled. "What about you? Is there anyone?" Jack shook his head, slowly.

"No. There's no one." He said, sadly.

"I'm sorry." Gwen said. Ianto knew he was next. He was desperate for Jack not to know he was married. Just once, he could be just Ianto. Not the married guy with three kids. He was trying to work out what to say to avoid the question when Toshiko spoke.

"Hey, are we gunna just sit here, or are we gunna have fun?!" She asked, winking at Ianto. Ianto loved Tosh so much at times like this. He made a mental note to remind her how awesome she was later.

"Yeah!" Ianto interjected. "Let's dance!" He said, standing up, and downing his drink. He slammed the glass down on the table, and looked at Jack, who was grinning at him.

"Let's do it!" Jack said, brightly. Owen shrugged at Gwen, and led her by the hand to the dance floor. Tosh followed behind them, leaving Jack and Ianto to walk behind. Ianto could feel Jack close behind him. "Is something going on with those two?" Jack growled in Ianto's ear.

"Owen and Gwen?"

"Yeah." Ianto thought about it.

"Hmm...Probably. Most people in our office have slept with Gwen." Ianto told him as they reached the dance floor. It was packed, but they managed to squeeze in. They were separated from Tosh, Owen and Gwen, but that didn't bother either of them greatly.

"So, is that including you?" Jack asked, as their bodies pressed together. Ianto tried to remember to keep breathing.

"Er, no." He replied, quickly. Jack laughed, and slipped his arms around Ianto's skinny waist. Jack's smell was intoxicating, and Ianto was completely overwhelmed by it. It pushed inside his brain, filling all his senses. It kicked out the thoughts of his wife and kids...replaced them with Jack. He was everywhere, everything.

"Straight?" Jack asked, his voice a whisper in Ianto's ear. Ianto swallowed.

"Usually." Ianto briefly remembered his promise to himself not to flirt anymore...but he was completely powerless to Jack.

"Hmm...Interested?" Jack asked.

"Possibly." Of course I'm bloody interested, he thought. Otherwise I wouldn't be finding it hard to breathe right now, and my heart wouldn't be beating nineteen to the dozen.

"Outside?"

"Please." Jack took Ianto by the hand and pulled him out of the door. As they left, Ianto looked over his shoulder. Owen and Gwen were snogging in a corner, and Tosh was dancing with a tall blonde guy. Ianto smiled. Maybe she'd get lucky tonight...

Ianto looked back at Jack, who grinned. Maybe Tosh wasn't the only one getting lucky tonight...


	5. Chapter 5

The Cruellest Choice

When they got outside, Jack pulled Ianto into a side alleyway. Ianto felt the wall behind his back as Jack pushed him against it. He was trembling in anticipation and excitement; he had never done anything like this before. But as Jacks body got closer, the nerves went away; all he could concentrate on was Jack. When their lips only millimetres apart, Jack whispered, "Any second thoughts?" Ianto shook his head slowly. He had no second thoughts – and that was part of what worried him. He had a wife, kids, why wasn't he thinking about them? What hold did Jack have over him? Why was he so special? Jack closed in on him, and all Ianto's errant thoughts scattered. He was surprised at how soft Jack's lips were. He kissed back with no hesitation; he hadn't been kissed with such passion in a long time. Ianto lost himself in the kiss, his whole body felt as though it was on fire. It wasn't until he felt Jack's hand slide down into his trousers that his mind caught up with his body. Ianto gasped, quietly. He wasn't ready for this; he wasn't ready for any of this. He didn't even want it anymore. All he wanted was to be home, with his wife...his kids...what was he doing here kissing a complete stranger?

"Jack, I – I'm sorry, I don't...I can't...I'm sorry, I can't do this." Ianto pulled away, turned and ran down the road. He could hear Jack shouting after him, but he tried to ignore them. He needed to go home. He couldn't do this. He'd never cheated on Emily before; he loved her too much to ever even consider it. He continued to run, tried to run away from himself...he...this wasn't him. This wasn't who he was. He didn't go around picking up handsome strangers...especially not men. He had a _wife_, kids, he loved them. He would never want to hurt them. He felt the tears falling down his cheeks, but they wouldn't ease up. He just couldn't be doing this. But, Jack wasn't...he wouldn't...he didn't even have his number. He wouldn't be in touch, this would all go away.

Ianto flung open the door to his house, trying to stop it from banging and waking everyone up. He looked at his watch. It was only 11, but Emily and the kids would be asleep. He crept up the stairs, unbuttoning his waistcoat slowly. He opened his bedroom door, silently. Emily was hunched in the bed, her shape barely visible in the dim light. He pulled off the rest of his clothes, and slid in beside her, pulling her close. "Ianto?" Emily mumbled.

"Yeah, hun, it's me." Ianto muttered.

"Love you." She told him. Ianto's heart tugged, and he faltered, the guilt he felt dragging him under.

"I know." Ianto said, quietly. "I know." He couldn't bring himself to say it back, especially when he was doubting it himself more and more each day...He fell asleep holding his wife close. He tried to ignore the part of him that wished it was Jack...


	6. Chapter 6

Ianto went into work the next day feeling dirty. It was as if everyone knew what he'd done. Everyone was in the office when he arrived, and they each looked up and smiled brightly at him.

"Hey Ianto!" Tosh called as he sat down. Her eyes were gleaming.

"Hi." Ianto muttered.

"Got a call for Jack earlier." Tosh said, coming over to Ianto and leaning against his desk precariously. Ianto closed his eyes, and prayed. "He's gunna stop by later; he's got something for Owen."

"Did he say anything else?" Ianto asked, opening his eyes.

"Not really. Just that he had a great time the other night. It was a laugh, wasn't it? Where did you two get to?" Tosh asked. Ianto thought quickly.

"Er...we went outside for a bit, because it was so hot inside," Ianto tried hard not to think about the feeling of Jack pressed against him. "And just got talking...realised we weren't going to find any of you anytime soon, so we both just went home."

"Really?" Tosh considered it. "Okay."

"So where did you two go?" Ianto asked, looking pointedly at Owen and Gwen, who had suddenly become engrossed in their reports they were reading. He decided not to mention that he knew _exactly_ what they'd been up to.

"Oh...we just went home after a bit, just like you and Jack." _Just like you and Jack._ Ianto sighed. Owen didn't know how right he was. "Speak of the devil..." He said, as Jack rounded the corner, grinning.

"...And the devil shall appear!" Jack finished for him, pulling him into a tight hug. Ianto ignored the stab of jealousy. "Hey guys!" He said, looking round at Ianto, Tosh and Gwen.

"Hi." Ianto mumbled.

"Hey Jack!" The girls chorused, cheerily.

"Ianto! Good to see you again." Jack said, holding out his hand. Ianto looked at it suspiciously before shaking it. He smiled, tightly.

"Absolutely." Gwen and Tosh turned away, discussing a shopping trip they were planning. Jack was talking to Owen, but gazing fixedly at Ianto.

"Jack?" Owen prodded him, and pointed at the screen.

"Oh right." He said, looking at the computer, but every so often stealing a quick look at the younger Welshman.

"Jack?" Ianto called. Jack looked up.

"Yeah, Yan?" _Yan_? Ianto wanted to asked, but stopped himself. He'd never been called that before. He guessed it was the obvious abbreviation of Ianto. But it was completely new to him. _Yan_. He tried it out in his head. He kinda liked it.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Jack said, coming over.

"Outside." Ianto muttered, pulling him into the corridor. Jack cast a sly smile over his shoulder at the others. They looked at him questioningly. He just rolled his eyes at them, and turned back to Jack, who was grinning sheepishly out in the corridor, leaning against one of the doors that lead into the Boss' office. Ianto looked around; there was no one else there. He slammed the door that lead to their working area, and looked at Jack with eyes that could have melted steel.

"So…" Jack said, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Jack. _What_ is going on?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Jack countered. "What was the other night about? You just ran off!" Ianto took a deep breath.

"I'm _married_, Jack." Jack took a step back, his eyes widening.

"You...but...and..."

"I know. And last night was amazing; Jack, but it didn't mean anything." Jack shook his head, slowly.

"But...I just..." He put his head in his hands. "I was actually under the impression you cared about me."

"I do." Ianto said, putting his hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack shook it off.

"No. If you did, then you wouldn't have said what you just did."

"I do, Jack. Really...I can't believe it. I only met you yesterday, but I can't stop thinking about you. You drive me crazy. I just can't forget you, no matter how hard I try."

"Maybe you should give up then." Jack said, moving closer to him, and holding out his hand. Ianto hung onto him gratefully.

"What?"

"Yan...I haven't stopped thinking about you either."

"But...this can't...I can't do this. I'm married."

"That doesn't stop you having feelings. Marriage is like a promise. And I distinctly remember someone saying that he didn't keep his promises." Ianto shook his head.

"I...I..."

"Did you lie to me?" Jack raised one eyebrow.

"No." Ianto decided. "I didn't."

"Okay...does that mean you want this...or not?"

"I'd be crazy to say I didn't want it. Cos I do. But I just..." Jack took a step closer to him, pressing him up against the office wall. "This position feels familiar." Ianto commented with a sly grin.

"Are you complaining?"

"No." Ianto said, quickly. Jack laughed, and pressed his lips to Ianto's gently. Ianto kissed him back, hungrily. Neither of them heard the office door open, and Tosh swear quietly.

"I knew it." She whispered, before slamming the door shut.


	7. Chapter 7

Jack sauntered back into the office, looking altogether extremely pleased with himself. This pissed Tosh off no end. Stupid little home-wrecker. "Where's Ianto?" Gwen asked him. Jack looked flustered.

"He...er, the boss, he wanted a word with him."

"Oh, I bet he did." Tosh muttered, sarcastically, tapping furiously at her keyboard.

"Oh, okay." Gwen said.

"I'm just about to head off, actually." Jack smiled. "I just wanted to remind you all that my party is next week, all welcome. Finally, the big three-oh." Jack babbled. "Owen can give you directions to my place, you know where it is, right?" Owen nodded. Jack's voice was steadily getting faster with excitement and nerves. "Just a normal, tame little rave." Jack grinned sheepishly. "Nothing _too_ wild. No promises though!"

"Sounds cool." Gwen said.

"Great." Tosh murmured. Like she was going _now_. Now that she knew his only intention was getting him her best friend's pants.

"Awesome. See you guys there!"

"You sure will!" Owen said, smiling. Jack saluted at him before leaving the office swiftly. Gwen stared after him, eyes on his arse. At that precise moment, Ianto walked in, his cheeks pink and eyes wide. He looked completely adorable. Tosh hadn't seen him look like that in a while. He seemed truly happy.

"Hey guys." He said, sitting down at his work station.

"How'd things go with Steve?" Tosh asked. She was interesting to see how he reacted.

"Steve?" Ianto looked confused.

"Jack said you two were having a private chat." Ianto nodded.

"Yeah, false alarm. Then I just went to the loos." Ianto turned back to his computer. He was engrossed in an email when a finger tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up to see Tosh glaring down at him. "Hi?" He said, uncertainly.

"Come with me." Tosh instructed, her voice so aggressive that Ianto didn't dare argue.

"What is it, Tosh?" He asked, as she dragged him down the stairs and out of the building. They used a side exit which brought them out onto a deserted alleyway.

"Ianto, what the _fuck_ has gotten into you?!" She screamed. Ianto took a step back.

"I don't know what you..."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Ianto Jones. I think I deserve a bit more than that." Ianto looked at her, confusedly. "I _saw_ you, Ianto. You and Jack." Ianto shifted, uncomfortably.

"Well...I..."

"What are you _playing_ at?!" Ianto just looked at her helplessly. "You're _married_!"

"You don't think I know that?" Ianto hissed. He slumped against the wall. "I don't know what to do, Tosh." Toshiko sighed and leant against the wall next to him.

"Not this. Don't you love Emily and the kids?" Ianto nodded furiously.

"Of course I do. And that's what makes this so difficult. I love them with all my heart, and never want to leave them. If Emily and I were having problems this would be...easier. But I love her, Tosh. But...Jack...he's just...overwhelming. And he's passionate about me, Tosh. I haven't had that in a long time. Em loves me, but she hasn't kissed me like Jack did in years. There's no fire, no spark."

"And there is with Jack?" Tosh asked. Ianto looked at her evenly, and then nodded.

"Like I've never felt before. He's like a fire, Tosh. And I know I'm gunna get burnt. But I don't want to step away, y'know? I like it. I like his heat. And you covered for me! You must have known I fancied him!" Tosh shifted, uneasily.

"Yeah, I did. But I thought you would be smart enough to keep it to just that!"

"Clearly I wasn't." Ianto sighed.

"Ianto, this is all such a mess."

"I know." Ianto sighed. "I know. And only I can make it right. I have to, don't I?"

"I'm afraid so, Ianto." Tosh put her arm around him. Ianto leant on her shoulder gratefully.

"I love them, Tosh. I don't want to hurt them. But Jack's...he's amazing. He makes me feel amazing."

"Ianto Jones," Tosh said, pulling away. "You've always been amazing. And you don't need Jack to feel like that."

"But he makes me feel special...wanted."

"Your family want you, need you!"

"And I need them." Ianto said. "I can't loose them. I have to make this right." Tosh nodded. "Thanks, Tosh."

"Don't mention it." She sighed. Ianto had always had a way of getting round her. She knew she'd always had a soft spot for him, like she was in love with him. She shook her head. In love with _Ianto_? No. That'd be...weird. Like it would ever happen, anyway. Tosh sighed again. Nothing ever went the way she wanted it to.

*

As Ianto got ready on the night of Jack's party, he did it with a sense of finality. Because something had to change. This couldn't go on. He looked in the mirror with a sigh. Boy, he was in for one hell of a night...


	8. Chapter 8

Ianto, Tosh and Owen all walked to Jack's place together. Ianto had agreed with Tosh that it should be just the two of them, but then they realised they needed Owen as a navigator. He'd agreed to tag along with them. They suddenly rounded the corner, and Jack's massive house opened up in front of them. "Wow." Tosh said, looking at Ianto.

"Impressive." The Welshman breathed. As they made their way towards the massive house, Ianto paused. He turned to Owen. "Didn't we say we'd meet Gwen out here?"

"No, Rhys is dropping her off," He stopped for a dramatic eye-roll. Ianto sighed. Owen had always been so cynical. "And so she said she'll meet us in there."

"Is Rhys coming?" Ianto asked. Owen shook his head.

"Nah, said he'd rather give it a miss."

"Right then," Ianto said, clapping his hands together. "Let's get this show on the road then, shall we?"

As they made their way inside, they found the house was packed with people, and Jack was easy to spot. He was sitting in an armchair, surrounded by gorgeous people, both male and female. He jumped up when he saw the three of them.

"Ianto! Tosh! Owen!" He called, making his way over to them, pushing drunken people out of his way. He pulled Ianto into a vice-tight hug, and then kissed him full on the lips. Ianto looked at Tosh guiltily. It's not like that one was his fault. It was clear he was pissed out of his head. Hey, Ianto couldn't blame him. Best way to spend a birthday, drinking. He hugged Tosh and Owen at the same time, but they kept their faces well away from him, scared he might kiss them too.

"Take it Gwen isn't here yet." Tosh muttered when he let them go, and dragged them through to the kitchen to get drinks. "Y'know, Jack, I'm really not that thirsty..." She started. Jack looked at her in horror.

"You don't drink because you're thirsty! You drink because you're _alive._" Tosh couldn't really argue with that. He poured them all shots of vodka, which they all accepted gingerly. Owen swallowed his down within about three seconds; Ianto placed his down on the table. He could tell tonight wouldn't be a good night to talk to Jack seriously. He sighed. When could he sort this out? He decided to put that thought out of his head, and just enjoy himself. He saw Tosh's glass was empty, and drained his quickly.

"How are we doing then?" Jack asked, grinning jauntily.

"Good thanks." Ianto replied. Jack responded by putting his arm around the younger man.

"Have you seen Gwen yet?" Owen asked Jack. Jack shook his head, pouring another drink with the hand that wasn't clinging to Ianto's shoulder.

"No, I think I would have remembered." Jack said. He mimed melons at them. "She's not exactly subtle." Ianto laughed, Owen scowled.

"Yeah, well, you say it like it's a bad thing." Jack shrugged.

"It's okay, if you like that kind of thing..."

"I could say the same thing about you." Jack looked blank. "Gay, maybe?" Owen prompted.

"Yeah, well." Jack said. "Can't really help it." Owen snorted.

"Jack, can I talk to you?" Ianto could tell that this situation was about to get awkward, and even if Jack was drunk out of his head, maybe he could still talk to him. Maybe it would be easier.

"Sure Ianto!" Jack exclaimed, grinning at him.

Ianto pulled him out of the kitchen, and up the stairs, where many people were lying, snogging intensely. He felt like he was back at college, at a party. Ianto stepped over them, still tugging Jack behind him by the hand. He stopped him the hallway, it seemed to be deserted. He didn't even want to think about the possibility of going into a bedroom with Jack; he didn't think he would be able to control himself. "Y'know, Ianto, if you wanted to get me into bed then you could have just asked. I wouldn't have protested." Ianto couldn't help but smile at him.

"No, Jack, I just wanted...Tosh saw us." Even in his drunken state, Jack's eyes widened.

"And...?"

"It just made me think...I don't...I don't know what to do. I don't want to loose my family."

"You don't have to...this can stay between you and me." Jack promised.

"And Toshiko." Ianto corrected.

"Can she keep a secret?" Jack asked.

"I don't know..."

"Do you want this to end?" Jack asked him. Ianto looked into his eyes.

"I don't want to loose you either." He vowed. Jack smiled at him, and pressed his lips to his, gently.

"Ianto, I..." He gestured towards the bedroom door, and then looked back at Ianto, grinning sheepishly. Ianto nodded, slowly, knowing what Jack was asking. He didn't want their first time to be a drunken mess, but he needed Jack. He needed to feel alive again. And he knew only Jack could make him feel like that. He looked at Jack. He trusted him completely, even though he'd only known him a week. He nodded again, just to be sure, and Jack took him by the hand, and led him towards the bedroom...


	9. Chapter 9

_I'm a git, a bastard, I'm such a bastard. I betrayed them,_ was all Ianto could think as he watched his family. He'd snuck back into the house in the early hours of the morning, after spending most of the night with Jack. He couldn't believe he'd actually said yes to Jack. Not that it hadn't been fantastic, but they'd only known each other a week. This was such a rush. But, with Jack, it'd felt as if Ianto hadn't have said yes, he could have lost Jack for good. _Shows how much he cares about you_. Ianto had no doubt in his mind that Jack cared about him, after the things he'd whispered to Ianto last night, when Jack had been convinced the younger man was asleep. How, even that they'd only known each other a week, when he looked in Ianto's eyes, he saw their whole future together. When Ianto really had fallen asleep, he'd dreamt it, too. He'd seen everything, and he'd wanted it so bad.

Ianto got up from the table, and had to stifle a hiss. Every time he moved, he felt Jack inside him. "Daddy?" Joanna called, as Ianto made his way over to the fridge. He pulled out a bottle of sparkling water and unscrewed it quickly.

"Yes, Jo?"

"Are you going out again tonight?" Ianto nodded. Joanna looked crest-fallen.

"Sorry, sweetheart."

"Wait a minute!" Emily interjected. "You said you'd baby-sit!" Ianto looked confused. "For the kids? Anna and I are going out!"

"Can't you do it another night?" Ianto sighed. "This is important."

"I don't see what could be more important than your family."

"It _isn't_. But there's a big meeting, if I don't go, I'm toast!"

"Muuum, can I have some toast?" Matthew whined. John sighed at his younger brother.

"Not now, honey." Matthew started to protest, but the look Ianto gave him silenced him.

"Em, please. This is a big deal."

"Okay then. Fine."

"No, it's alright. I can get Tosh to baby-sit, you guys can go out."

"Isn't she a part of this meeting?" Emily narrowed her eyes and folded her arms. Ianto remained calm.

"No, it's nothing to do with her."

"Really?"

"Yes. She's doing some private work at the moment, and so there's no need for her to be there." Emily nodded, reluctantly.

"Okay then. Give her a call." Ianto left the kitchen quickly. When he got into the hallway, he let out a sigh of relief. He pulled his mobile out, and dialled Tosh's number. As he held it to his ear he wondered since when did he know Tosh's number off by heart? He shrugged it off and waited for Tosh to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Tosh, it's Ianto."

"Hey, Ianto, I was gunna call you actually, I wanted to..."

"Actually, Tosh this is kinda urgent." Ianto chimed in. He heard her sigh.

"Go on."

"Listen, could you baby-sit for the kids tonight?"

"Sure. Why, are you and Emily going out somewhere?"

"No, Emily's going out with her friend," He lowered his voice. "And I have some work to do at the office, so I'm going in."

"Can't you do it from home?"

"What is it with women and questions?!"

"I'm just asking..."

"Yeah, well, no I can't."

"Okay then, sure, I'll baby-sit."

"Cheers, Tosh. Emily will be here when you get here, she'll tell you what to do. Come over about seven, yeah?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"No problem." She said, and hung up. Ianto thought quickly, and then pretended to pick his phone back up again.

"Hello? Oh, hey Steve. Yeah, I'm not busy…What? You want me to...Oh, no, that's fine. Sure. Be right there." Emily had come out into the hallway to see what was going on. "See you soon. Bye."

"What was that about?"

"Steve wants me to go in early, set up for the meeting."

"Really?"

"Yes, love!"

"But it's only 1:30!"

"Yeah, but we'll grab some lunch, talk, get set up...This is good, love. Time to bond."

"Yeah, okay. Are you going now?" Ianto nodded.

"Just gunna get changed, and then I'll go."

"Okay."

"I'll be back at about 10, yeah?"

"Yeah, we'll probably be back before you."

"Sure." Ianto headed up the stairs to get changed. Of course he wasn't going to a _meeting_. He was going to Jack's...

*

Jack answered the door to a very breathless and gorgeous-looking Ianto.

"Hello?" Jack's voice was strained, his smile even tighter.

"Look, Jack, I know you hate me for leaving early, but I just had to, and I couldn't...I just...They think I'm at work. But I need you. Now." Jack grinned.

"You came to the right place." Jack said, dragging Ianto inside.


	10. Chapter 10

Ianto lay, sprawled across Jack's chest in his large double bed, feeling an indescribable mixture of guilt and pleasure as Jack ran his fingers through Ianto's hair.

"So young." Jack murmured, kissing the Welshman on his temple. Ianto looked up, defiantly.

"I'm only two years younger than you."

"Tell me about your family." Jack said, suddenly.

"You sure?" Ianto asked, looking wary.

"Positive. I want to know you, all of you." Ianto smiled at this.

"Emily, my wife, she's twenty-seven. We were childhood sweethearts, met at High School. Then, when school was over, Emily and I moved in together." Ianto smiled at the memory. "Then, she told me she was pregnant. And I thought it would all fall apart. I wasn't ready to be a dad; I was only nineteen for Gods' sakes!" Jack nodded, playing with Ianto's hair absentmindedly.

"But...we worked through it, God knows how. Jo, Joanna, she's ten now. And then, Em and I got married, just before Jo was born. Shotgun wedding." Ianto reminisced with a sigh. "Then John came along. He's..." Ianto paused. Jack looked at him questioningly. "Special. I mean...he sees things, hears things, knows things other people don't. He...talks like he's from another time." Jack laughed. "He's amazing. You'd love him." Ianto added.

"If he's anything like you, I know I would." Jack said. Ianto chuckled, trying hard not to think about what Jack had just said.

"And Matthew, he's so much like his mum. Courageous, outgoing, beautiful..."

"You really love them, don't you?" Ianto couldn't meet Jack's gaze, for fear that he might cry. He simply nodded.

"Jack..." He asked, suddenly. A thought had just occurred to him. "Where do you think we'll be in a year's time?" Jack looked startled.

"I...I thought...I hadn't thought...I assumed this was just a bit on the side, that you'd ditch me when you got bored. I figured you loved your family too much to ever do anything to hurt them. Especially after everything you just said to me." Jack looked at Ianto, who, this time, wasn't afraid to meet the older man's eyes.

"I do, I just...I can't bear the thought of loosing you."

"I know, I...I understand if...if you want this to be over."

"No!" Ianto exclaimed, quickly. "I'd never want that...and...And that's what scares me."

"Ianto. Do you want to be with me?" Jack asked, and Ianto nodded immediately. "Enough to leave your family for?"

"I..."

"Just answer the question."

"I don't want to hurt them...but I can't pretend this is just some thing between us. I think about you all the time. My family, I love them. But I _need_ you." Ianto said, honestly. "I can't live a lie."

"Then you have to tell them." Ianto started to interrupt, when Jack cut him off. "Whether or not you tell them you're leaving them is up to you. I'd understand if you just told them it was some worthless little thing that didn't mean anything."

"It's not though."

"_I_ know that. But whether you want _them_ to know that, is your choice."

"But, I..."

"Just think about it, Yan. Think about us, everything we could be." Ianto closed his eyes, and thought. He could see it, he could see it all. A perfect life with Jack, waking up beside him every morning. Ianto'd never shown any interest in men before, but now he automatically thought of himself as gay. It was his knee-jerk reaction. Ianto opened his eyes, seeing Jack lying underneath him, and he knew it was all he ever wanted.

"Okay." He said. "I'll tell them."


	11. Chapter 11

Ianto crept back into the house at ten 'o' clock. He'd left Jack's hours ago, but he couldn't face going home just then. He'd sat at the pub, trying to drink away his fears. It hadn't worked, only made him feel nauseated. He had decided he had to leave them. People got divorced all the time, and their kids survived, didn't they? He couldn't leave his kids behind, but he didn't have another option. He'd make sure he saw them as soon as often as he could. He found Emily slumped on the sofa, mascara marks staining her cheeks. "Em?" His voice sounded as shaky as he felt.

"Oh," She said, looking up. "Hello, Ianto."

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting down beside her. Emily seemed to ignore him, or maybe she was just too lost in her own thoughts. "Listen, Em, I have something to tell you..."

"Me too." Emily interrupted him.

"But, I think I have to..."

"Ianto, I...I don't know how to say this. I wanted to...I didn't...I couldn't find the right time. I just...can't hide this anymore. I need to tell you...I can't act like this is nothing."

"Em, please, let me go first."

"No, Ianto." She said, turning her tear-stained face towards him. He swallowed. "Let me talk."

"Okay." Ianto allowed.

"Last time this happened, we fell apart. I can't...I can't loose you. Please...don't let this ruin us."

"What? What are you...?" Realisation hit Ianto. "No...No, no you can't..."

"I wish I wasn't. But I am."

"No…you...you..."

"Yes, Ianto." Emily confirmed, and Ianto started to shake. He dropped his head into his hands, groaning softly.

"I...I..." Ianto tried to talk, but words failed him. He couldn't...this couldn't be happening. He was about to leave his family, now this?

"I wish I could change this. I wish it wasn't like this. I...I'm..."

"No, Em, please..."

"I'm sorry, but I am. I'm pregnant."


	12. Chapter 12

_Jack,_

_I wish I had the guts to tell you this in person. Truth is, I don't. Maybe it's because I'm scared I'll change my mind. Maybe because I'm a coward. I don't know._

_Emily's pregnant. She only told me yesterday. I...I really was going to leave them. But, I can't, Jack. You'd understand. I wish I could leave them. But I can't. So, I guess this is it. We're really over._

_They're my family, and they need me, Jack. I just hope you understand and I pray you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted it to get this far. I got in too deep; I'm out of my depth. I was willing to give up my family for a guy I've known less than two weeks. Crazy maybe, but it's what I wanted. I hope you didn't mean those things you said about our future. That would make this easier._

_But I don't deserve easy. I deserve to suffer for what I've done. But, if it helps, which I know it won't, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that's happened. I'm sorry I fell for you. I don't regret anything, though, only the way things ended between us._

_Ianto._

Ianto dropped the letter on Jack's door mat, tears pouring down his cheeks. He didn't want to say goodbye. He wanted to be with Jack. He really wanted to make it work. But, maybe happy endings were overrated. Or maybe he just didn't deserve one.

He fled the street quickly. He couldn't be around to see Jack's reaction. As he walked to the office where he worked, he wondered how long it would take him to get over Jack. He doubted he ever would. There would always be a 'what if'.

He pushed open the door to his office, wiping away the last of his tears and straightening his tie. He wouldn't let anyone see him like this. He didn't want pity. He just wanted to left alone.

As he walked into his work space, he was bombarded by smiles and the occasional call of "Hello!" He tried to smile back as best he could. But it was getting harder.

Tosh came running up to him. Ianto forced another smile. He had to pretend he was okay. He made his smile more believable, and prepared himself for a gossip. He wondered how much longer he could deny the pain that was making him feel sick. He missed Jack. But he couldn't let that show. Take it one day at a time. Easier that way. Didn't hurt so much.

It was all pretend to Ianto. He was finding it hard to remember what was real...and what was just a game.


	13. Chapter 13

"So there's really nothing going on between you two anymore?" Tosh asked.

"Nope." Ianto replied. He wished she would just drop it.

"And you and Emily are okay?" Ianto nodded.

"We're great." Tosh just looked at him. "In fact," Ianto announced. "I have something to tell you all." He said, gesturing to Gwen and Owen.

"Oh yeah?" Owen said, swinging his chair round to face Ianto. Gwen looked up at him.

"Yeah, well...the thing is...Emily's pregnant!" Gwen squealed and Owen grinned, looking slightly shocked. Tosh just stood, staring at Ianto.

"Really?" Gwen asked. Ianto nodded. "How long have you known?"

"Oh, I only found out yesterday!" Ianto told them.

"Congratulations mate." Owen said, standing up and pulling Ianto into a hug, which he returned gratefully. He missed having someone to hang onto.

"Thanks."

"Wow, this is so exciting!" Gwen exclaimed. "Emily and I will have to meet up to talk all about it!"

"Actually, why don't you all come over tonight?" Ianto asked. "Have dinner, that way you and Em can talk. All of you." Ianto added, looking at Owen, who nodded, and then at Toshiko, who had remained quiet through all of this.

"S-sure." Tosh stammered. "Ianto, can I talk to you?"

"Course."

"What is it with you two and these secret talks all of a sudden?" Owen asked. Ianto just laughed, and walked out of the door, Tosh following.

"So you and Jack are over because she's pregnant?" Tosh asked when they were out in the corridor. She didn't sound angry, she just sounded disappointed. Let down.

"No! We're over because it's what's best. It's not like we ever really started. It was just a quick thing that meant nothing. I love Emily." Ianto told Tosh. She just looked at him. "Toshiko. Trust me."

"Look what happened the last time I did that." She retorted.

"You helped me realise how stupid I was being!" Tosh remained silent. "You'll see, tonight. You'll see."

*

"Thanks, Em, that was great." Owen said, as Emily collected the plates. Gwen jumped up for the fourth time that evening.

"Let me do that!" She said, trying to take the plates from Emily.

"Gwen, you've done your bit, let me help." Owen said, standing and taking a few plates.

"Thanks, Owen." Emily muttered.

"No problem." Owen flashed a grin, and followed Emily into the kitchen.

"You're so lucky, Ianto." Gwen said, sighing.

"Thanks." Ianto said, forcing a smile and taking another sip of water. He was trying not to get drunk, but it was getting harder. He wanted to be numb. To be numb and to forget everything.

"You really are." Gwen said, again.

"I know." Ianto replied, and Gwen smiled. Tosh was glaring at him, and he didn't dare meet her gaze. "I'll go...see what's taking them so long." Ianto improvised, and fled the room. He walked silently through to the kitchen, where he heard voices. He edged the door open. Emily and Owen were face to face, Emily had tears in her eyes.

"I don't know, Owen..." Emily hissed. Owen seemed to notice Ianto, and turned to face him.

"Hey, I was just saying to Emily..."

"That he was just leaving. He's got some stuff he needs to catch up on." Emily interrupted. Owen looked a bit put out, but nodded.

"Yeah, busy me. See you later, Ianto. Emily." Owen left the kitchen quickly and slammed the door.

"I hope that doesn't wake the kids up." Emily sighed, turning back to the sink.

"Is everything okay?" Ianto asked. He would go and put his arms around her, but every touch felt like a betrayal.

"Yeah. Everything's fine." Emily said, looking straight at Ianto. "Everything is fine."

Ianto wished he could say the same.


	14. Chapter 14

Ianto had just gotten up. He was the only one awake, he had checked. He thought about calling Jack, but what would he say? Like Jack would talk to him now. Ianto didn't really blame him, but that didn't stop him feeling lonely. Stop the aching feeling in his stomach.

Emily was pregnant.

He had almost left his family for a guy he barely knew.

And John kept giving him weird looks that told him that he knew so much more than he was letting on.

Ianto wished he didn't feel this mixed up inside. He'd chosen Emily, hadn't he? He could have left, but he'd chosen not to. He'd stayed with his family, the people who loved him and needed him.

He just wished he felt the same.

He loved his kids; of course he did, completely and unconditionally. He'd love his new child, and he loved Emily. He just wished he loved her enough. Enough to never have any doubts, enough to never have looked at Jack twice.

He heard the crash of the letter box as it snapped shut. The post was here. He prayed it hadn't woken the others up. He didn't feel ready to start the day yet. He just wanted some time to himself. He wasn't ready to be the perfect husband and father yet. He just needed time to collect his thoughts. He needed time to get over Jack.

He wandered through from the kitchen, through to the hallway. He loved this house, but it was overwhelming at times; it was so big. Emily had chosen this house more than he had, Ianto realised with a soft sigh. Not that he had a problem with that. Emily could do what she liked.

Ianto stooped to pick up the bunch of envelopes that were scattered across the carpet in front of the front door. He flicked through them quickly. There was only one that looked remotely interesting. A large, brown, flat envelope addressed to Emily. Ianto ignored the fact that it was for his wife, and ripped it open. His face paled when he saw what it was...DNA results.

Ianto couldn't believe it. He trusted him; they'd grown so close over the short amount of time they had known each other. How could he do this to Ianto? He'd expected something, but not Emily.

Ianto couldn't breathe. He collapsed to the floor, choking, sobbing and gasping for air. He thought _he_ had secrets. His was nothing compared to this.

This would devastate.

This would destroy.

And his and Emily's marriage was first on the list.


	15. Chapter 15

Emily wandered down the stairs at nine, yawning and rubbing her eyes blearily, the other hand pushing her hair out of her face. "Ianto?"

Ianto was sitting at the kitchen table, looking at the wood as if it was about to disappear. When he heard her voice his head snapped up, and he looked at her with eyes full of hate and disgust. "What?" His voice sounded dead.

"You okay?" Emily asked, moving to sit down at the table next to him, but Ianto stood up, a piece of paper in his hand.

"Do I _look_ okay?" He asked, shoving the piece of paper at her. Emily saw it was a letter, then saw the heading at the top of it. DNA results. The ones she'd been waiting for ever since she'd found out she was pregnant.

"Fuck." She said, looking up at Ianto, her eyes wet with tears.

"Read it." Ianto said, his voice cold and stern. Emily shook her head. She didn't even want to know. She loved Ianto, she really did. She didn't care who the father was, as long as Ianto stood by her. Emily could tell just by looking at her husband that she'd lost him.

"No." She whispered.

"Read it!" Ianto yelled. His voice shook, he was trying hard to control himself, but he could feel his anger about to boil over. Emily stared at her husband, and then made her eyes move down the paper. _Oh no._

"You...I...Ianto, I...I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry!" She started.

"Owen? You could have...he's one of my best mates, Em! At least have some _dignity!_ He...you...he fucks everything that moves, couldn't you find _someone_ better?!"

"I...I wish I had an excuse. But I really don't." Emily was shaking her head, and Ianto was just looking at her disbelievingly.

"But you...I thought...I thought you _loved_ me." Ianto said.

"I _do_. I'm sorry for everything I've done!" Emily tried to find the words to make things right.

"Do you regret it?" Ianto asked. Emily just looked at him, before answering: "Of course."

"But do you really? Would you take it back? Would you take this baby back? Would you take _his_ baby back?" Emily couldn't answer that question. Of course she wouldn't take her own child back, but she'd give anything to save her marriage. "I think that's all I need to know." Ianto said, turning his back and walking towards the door.

Emily grabbed his arm, pulled him back. "No, Ianto, please, don't do this...You can't...What about the kids?"

"I'll be back. I need my stuff, don't I? But that's it. I'll still see the kids, you can be sure of that."

"Where will you go?" Emily was desperate now. Desperate to stop him, to make him see sense.

"Oh, I'll find somewhere." Ianto promised. He just hoped Jack would take him back after everything the younger man had put him through.

"But...You can't. You can't leave me."

Ianto paused, his eyes skimming over her, the hatred was still there, and Emily couldn't stand it. "Oh, I can. Just watch me. You made your choice. When you slept with Owen. You ended this. You destroyed us. You made us crash and burn."

"But I want to make it _right_!" Emily exclaimed.

"Well, I don't. There's only so much you can fix, Em."

"We can find a way!"

"No." Ianto said. "No, we can't. This is it. Over." Ianto walked out the door, slamming it shut. He walked silently across the driveway, only stopping when he heard a voice call his name.

"Daddy?" John called. His window was open, and he was leaning out of it.

"John?!" Ianto exclaimed. "Be careful!"

"I'm fine. Are you leaving?"

"I have to, son." Ianto told him. John nodded.

"Okay then. I knew you'd go."

"What _is_ it, John? How do you know so much?"

"I know it all." John said, simply.

"What exactly do you know?"

"All about it. Mummy and Owen, you and Jack." Ianto gasped.

"How do you know that?"

"I see it all." John said. "I see everything, and it won't go away." He turned, looking back at his father with fearful eyes. "Mummy's coming!"

"No, John!" Ianto shouted, but John had already closed the window. He swore, kicking a stone clean across the driveway and out into the road. How could John know all that? It was impossible. But then again, Ianto thought, he'd have thought that it would be impossible that his marriage would be over within the fortnight. But that's all it was now. Over.

*

Jack was sitting in his living room, tears pouring down his face as he read Ianto's letter over and over. Emily was pregnant...Ianto was staying with them...It was all too much. He couldn't believe it. He heard a knock at the door, and stood up quickly. He only had a top and jogging bottoms on, and his face was pale, his eyes red with crying. He didn't care. Let the world see how much he was suffering. He pulled the door open, to see Ianto standing there. He blinked, reaching his hand out to make sure he was really there. Ianto reached out too, and their hands locked together.

"Hello." Ianto said, smiling softly.

"What are you...What are you doing here?" Jack asked.

"I'm sorry...Emily...the baby...it's...its Owen's." Ianto said, running a free hand through his hair, eyes closing. When he opened them, Jack was staring at him. He used their joined hands to pull the younger man closer, and throwing his arms around him. He was surprised at how well they fitted, Ianto was just tall enough to fit his head into Jack's neck, and they just...fitted. Like two pieces of a puzzle. It literally felt like you couldn't have one without the other. Jack didn't know that Ianto was thinking exactly the same thing. "I...I'm sorry, Jack. I need you...It took loosing you for me to realise that, and I'm sorry. But...I know what I want," Ianto mumbled, threading his hands in Jack's hair. "I want you. Always." Jack nodded.

"I understand. But...what does this mean?"

"It means...its over. Between me and Emily. So, I'm yours. If you'll have me." Ianto looked up at him, his eyes wide and pleading. Jack cupped his cheek, smiling.

"Of course I'll have you. I don't want anyone else. And I never will." Jack promised. Ianto smiled with a sense of belonging as the two men clung together. Like two pieces of a puzzle. They'd finally been put together. And Ianto was gunna make sure they were never apart again.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who's been reviewing this. I love you all for it. Unfortunately, there's only 3 more chapters to go! But please continue to read and review, it makes my day!! :D x**

Jack and Ianto lay, the younger man curled around the older protectively. They were only on the sofa; they had just wanted to feel close to each other. Jack was staring at Ianto, who was nearly asleep. "Jack?" Ianto mumbled, voice muffled by the fabric of Jack's t-shirt. His eyes were still closed.

"Mmm?"

"Don't stare. Makes me self-conscious."

"You have no reason to be." Jack told him, kissing his neck softly. Ianto moaned, shifting so that he was lying on top of the older man. He was surprised Jack didn't complain, but then again Ianto had never been the heaviest of people, and Jack was pretty strong. Ianto had had eating disorders as a child, and he never ate much now. He knew he was too skinny, but he was used to seeing his rib cage poking through his stomach every time he looked in the mirror. Ianto buried his face in Jack's t-shirt, inhaling deeply.

"So _you_ say..." Ianto started, but Jack cut him off.

"It's the truth, Ianto. You're too desirable for your own good." Ianto was going to argue, but he knew it would be no use.

"I think you're getting me and you confused."

"You think _I'm_ desirable?" Jack asked, incredulously.

"Of course." Ianto answered, immediately. "You're gorgeous, why wouldn't anyone want you?"

"I don't want anyone to want me." Jack replied. "I just want you to want me."

"I do." Ianto said, immediately. "So much." Jack just looked at him. _How can he doubt himself_, Ianto thought.

Ianto moved, kneeling up and placing his hands either side of Jack's face. His knees were bent and holding Jack still. Not that Jack looked like he'd want to go anywhere. Jack smiled cheekily, hand sliding up Ianto's leg and resting on his thigh, tugging him closer. Ianto could feel his breathing getting faster as Jack pulled him closer, wrapping his free arm around his waist, pulling him flush against his body. Jack kissed him greedily, surprised at how long it felt since their last kiss. But he hadn't forgotten how great it felt, and he doubted he ever would. He couldn't ignore the electricity that seemed to spark whenever they touched. He also couldn't ignore Ianto's mobile ringing in his pocket. Neither could Ianto, apparently. He pulled away from Jack, glanced at his mobile, and then threw it at the wall. He levelled his weight on Jack's stomach, looking at the older man intensely.

"Who was it?" Jack asked, quietly. His piercing blue eyes bore into Ianto, and any chance of Ianto lying was diminished. He couldn't lie to Jack.

"Emily." Ianto whispered.

"Why didn't you answer it? I wouldn't have minded." Jack told him.

"I have nothing left to say to her." Ianto said.

"Don't you think that's a bit...hypocritical?" Jack asked. Ianto shifted his weight slightly, not meeting Jack's gaze.

"Owen's one of my best mates. Em...Emily, she doesn't even _know_ you."

"And that makes a difference?"

"Yes." Ianto said, immediately.

"Ianto..."

"No, Jack! It makes all the difference. I may have betrayed them, I know I did...But Owen...I trusted him. I trusted Emily."

"Like they trusted you?" Jack asked, cautiously.

"Why are you doing this?" Ianto said, suddenly. "Why are you trying to make me feel bad about this? Do you not think I feel bad enough about it already?"

"No, Ianto. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I know you're punishing yourself enough. But you need to see both sides of the story."

"But I don't understand _why_ she did it."

"The same reason you slept with me." Ianto tried to think. "Why _did_ you sleep with me?"

"There was...I was attracted to you from the moment I saw you," Jack smiled. "There was just...chemistry. Like, there was this spark of electricity between us that I just couldn't ignore. I tried, like hell I tried. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But I wanted you more. It was like I was in love with you, or something crazy like that."

"Yeah," Jack said, wistfully. "Crazy."

"I just...it was like nothing I've ever known before." Jack looked at the younger man, his eyes unreadable.

"Maybe that's how it was with Owen." Jack reasoned.

"Yeah...but its _Owen_. There's a big difference between you and Owen."

"At Uni, Owen was the popular one."

Ianto snorted. "Hard to believe."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. Now he's just...ew."

Jack laughed. "You should go see your family." He said, suddenly.

Ianto stared at him. "I..."

"Really, Yan. No matter how you feel about me, they're your family."

"But I left them...so I could be with you. Don't you want me?" Ianto's voice was heartbreaking.

"Of course I do." Jack cupped Ianto's face with his hand. "Always. But was that the first time Emily called you since you left?" Ianto thought about it, then nodded. "Then it must be serious."

"What could be that serious?" Ianto asked.

"Maybe she has news, about the baby..."

"It's not my baby, though." Ianto said.

"So it's not your problem then?"

"Well, no...But..."

"Go see them." Jack said. Ianto nodded.

"Okay." Ianto didn't move.

"Ianto?"

"Mmm?"

"You gunna move?"

"Do you want me to?"

Jack sighed. "Ianto. Off." Ianto shook his head. "Fine then." Jack rolled over, and Ianto fell onto the floor with a grunt. He sat up, his hair tousled, pouting.

"Ouch."

Jack grinned. "You look too cute when you do that." Ianto moved closer to him, kissing him softly.

"I'll be back." Ianto promised.

"You better be." Jack told him.

"I will be. Promise."

"I believe you. But take your mobile, just in case." Ianto grinned, picking up his mobile, and flipping it open. "Still working?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, I don't throw that hard."

"No, not at all." Jack teased, kissing him again before Ianto stood up, smiled at Jack, and left. Jack was surprised at how lonely he felt without him.

Jack sighed. He _did_ believe Ianto, but...he couldn't help but doubt him. Jack stood up, and went upstairs to take a shower. This house was too big for one person, he decided. And he was hoping Ianto would fix that for him...


	17. Chapter 17

Ianto walked along the road; still wearing his jeans and an old top. He shoved his hands in his pockets, he was freezing and frustrated. He wanted to go to home – to Emily's, he mentally corrected himself – yet, he wasn't ready. He couldn't look her in the eyes, knowing what she'd done, knowing what he'd done himself.

Ianto knew he shouldn't have been so hard on Emily. He had done everything he'd accused her of – betraying their family, and not loving them enough to change. Ianto still loved Emily; you couldn't just fall out of love with someone like that. But Ianto was too hurt to admit it.

But how many other had Emily slept with? John...well, there was no doubt that he was Ianto's son. But...Joanna? Mattie? What if they weren't his kids either? The thought made Ianto's skin crawl, but after what he'd just found out, he wouldn't be surprised. If he'd been angry before, he was livid now.

Ianto also felt himself falling. Falling for Jack, and everything Jack had to offer. His kids, they'd understand, wouldn't they? It's not like any of them were homophobic. Well, they were too young to care, or to understand. To understand what it was like to fall for someone of the same gender as you.

Ianto walked silently up his driveway. He looked in the window as he passed by the house, but could see nothing. There were no lights on...maybe no one was home. Maybe that'd be better.

He silently let himself in the back door. He breathed in the inviting aroma of toast and tea and _home_. Ianto ignored the small part of him that was asking himself why he had ever left. But this piece of him evaporated when he walked into the kitchen and saw Owen and Emily sat there, talking honestly.

"Ianto!" Emily exclaimed, jumping up.

"Am I interrupting something here?" Ianto asked, coldly.

"No!" Emily said, firmly, at the same time as Owen muttered: "What's it to you?"

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time, would it?" Ianto snarled. Owen sighed, standing up.

"Oh, get off your high horse, Ianto." Ianto blinked. _How dare he?_ "I know, alright?"

Ianto stared him out. There was on way he could know...he couldn't...there wasn't...no. "Know what exactly?"

"Everything. Tosh told me. Your precious little secret, it's out. So stop making Em and I feel so bad when really, you're as bad as both of us!"


	18. Chapter 18

"What do you mean?!" Ianto raged. "I just cheated, she" he paused to point at Emily "tried to convince me I was her child's father, when she knew full well you might be! Don't try and pass all of the blame onto me."

"You. Did. What?" Emily questioned, her voice shaking with anger. Ianto swallowed, looking at his wife, who was looking bewildered. "Ianto? Owen? What's going on?" She asked, her voice very quiet.

"Em...I..." Ianto started.

"I don't want excuses!" Emily shouted. "I just want the truth. Or is that too much to ask?"

"Go on, Ianto." Owen said, smirking.

Ianto wondered whether he should say or not. Oh well, Owen would out him anyway. He prayed this sounded better coming from him than Owen. "Okay. Emily, I'm...I'm seeing someone...someone else." Ianto said, simply.

Emily stared at him, eyes wide. "And you have the _nerve_ to make me feel..."

"Oh, there's more." Owen told her.

"More? Ianto?" Emily was shocked. How could there be more? Oh God, she thought, maybe he had another wife and ten kids over in Spain. She shook her head, subconsciously. She'd been watching far too much _Jeremy Kyle_. Ianto wouldn't do that...well; she'd never thought he'd have cheated on her. Hell, she'd never have thought _she_ would cheat on _him_.

Ianto took a deep breath, preparing for the final blow. "Jack...he's a man. Happy now?" Ianto asked Owen.

"Absolutely." Owen said, gleefully.

"How...I...you...and...And a _man?!_" Oh God, this _was_ like _Jeremy Kyle_! Emily was horrified.

"Yes." Ianto said, calmly. "A man...A man I think...I think I might be in love with."

Emily's mouth opened and closed, no words forming.

"You?" Owen snorted. "You and Jack? In love? Please! It'll never last."

That was just the final straw for Ianto.

"I don't think that's really your place to say, do you?" Ianto growled. "Do you know why Tosh told you? She loves you. She loves you like crazy. And you're too blind to see it. You could never love anyone as much as you love yourself! So don't you _dare_ give me a lecture about relationships and love, Owen Harper, because you don't have a fucking clue!!"


	19. Chapter 19

"Oh, you're a right one to talk!" Owen raged. "Making your pregnant wife feel terrible when you're off taking it up the arse from some guy you barely know!"

"With Jack, it's different!" Ianto yelled.

"Different, yeah right. I know Jack, he'll screw you to Hell and back, and then drop you like a dead fly for some leggy blonde half his age!"

"He's not _like_ that!" Ianto screamed, close to tears.

"Oh yes he is. You think you know him, you know _nothing_!"

"I know all I need to know, like you can tell me about relationships, when you screw over everyone you've ever been in! What the fuck does Tosh see in you?!"

The two men were pulled away from their shouting match when the doorbell rang. Ianto ran to answer it, anything to get away from the disgusting man he'd once called his friend, who he'd trusted, relied on, confided in. All that just thrown back in his face. Ianto wiped his tears away, furiously, and flung the door open. He was shocked to see Jack standing there. Ianto grabbed his arm and pulled him inside.

"Hi, Yan, I'm sorry, I just had to..." Ianto silenced him with a kiss, wrapping his arms around the older man.

"Nothing to be sorry for." He murmured. "I need you right now. I'm loosing against Owen and Emily, I need you to make me strong." Jack nodded.

"Course." Ianto leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Jack's.

"Thank you." Ianto reached down and wove their fingers together, clinging to Jack shamelessly. "Let's go." Ianto whispered, and pulled Jack through to the kitchen.

"Oh, Jack, come join the party!" Owen called sarcastically, when the two men walked into the kitchen, hands still joined.

Emily, despite still being so furious with Ianto she could barely speak, couldn't help but notice how good they looked together, how well they fitted. Jack was smiling nervously at Emily, ignoring Owen. Emily had to give him some credit for the fact that, despite it all, Jack was still eager to make a good first impression. Not many men would have the courtesy to do that. Emily couldn't help but think of Owen when she thought about lack of courtesy.

"Jack Harkness." Jack reached across with his free hand, holding it out Emily. She shook it, lightly.

"Emily Jones." She paused. "Kind of." She said, smiling. Jack laughed, nervously.

"Yes, Em, this is the bastard that's been shagging your husband." Emily flinched.

"Oh, fuck off, Owen." Jack said, his voice bored.

"Oh, c'mon, Jack! How _could_ you?!" Owen snarled.

"How could you get Ianto's wife _pregnant?_" Jack retorted. "Don't you dare start on me, Harper. You've fucked up big time; don't drag me down with you."

"Oh, I think you've already been dragged down. C'mon, Ianto? _Really?_"

"How I feel about Ianto is none of your business." Jack told him. Owen snorted.

"Aw, are we going to talk about our _feelings_ now?"

"Er, guys?" Ianto interrupted. Emily smiled at him, before she could stop herself. "You seem to be forgetting this is about Emily and me?"

"Ianto's right. This isn't about you two falling out, this is about our marriage."

"What _marriage_?" Owen laughed. "You're both so eager to get rid of each other." Ianto looked at Emily, guiltily.

"I wasn't looking to get rid of you, Em. But I really can't help how I feel about Jack."

"I know, Ianto. And I couldn't help Owen and I...whatever happened, whatever's going to happen now."

"The kids." Ianto whispered.

"They're at the park. You can see them, anytime you want." Ianto smiled, weakly.

"Thank you." He said, whole heartedly. "Really."

Emily nodded. "It's fine." Then the door banged open, and Ianto heard the sound of his children's voices fill the hallway.

"Mummy! We're back!" Joanna called. Jack made to let go of Ianto's hand, but Ianto hung on. Ianto had his eyes closed, cursing softly underneath his breath. He hoped he wouldn't have to do this. But what choice did he have now?

"In the kitchen." Emily replied, looking at Ianto apologetically. As his children filed into the room, Ianto just hoped they wouldn't hate him for what he was about to do.

"Daddy?" Matthew was the first to speak. "Daddy!" He ran towards him, and Ianto dropped to his knees, letting go of Jack's hand just in time to catch his son, hugging him tightly.

"Hey, soldier."

"I missed you." Matthew mumbled.

"I know, Mattie. I know."

"Are you going to stay?" Matthew asked. Ianto breathed out.

"For a while."

Matthew looked confused. "But..."

"Matthew, come here." Emily commanded. Ianto looked up at her, thankfully. "Now, Daddy and I have something to tell you."

"Daddy?" Joanna whispered.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Who's that man?" She asked him, quietly, pointing at Jack. Ianto stood up, placing a hand on Jack's shoulder.

"Ah, this is Jack. Daddy's...friend." Jack smiled at the children. Joanna and Matthew smiled back, brightly, but John looked suspicious.

"The thing is, kids...Your father and me..." Emily started, but John cut her off.

"You don't love each other anymore, do you?" John said, bluntly. Emily looked at Ianto helplessly.

"It's not that me and mummy don't love you guys, we do!"

"But Jack's not just your friend, is he, daddy?" John continued. Jack looked at Ianto in confusion.

"John, I don't know what you..."

"You and Jack! And mummy and Owen..." Joanna gasped. "Is that the way it is now? Do we have to choose sides? I don't want to! I want to be us! A family!" John shrieked.

"We can still be a family..." Emily told him.

"A broken one!" John retorted.

"John, people split up all the time..."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" John yelled.

"John, what is it? What's brought this on?" Ianto asked, gently. John collapsed on the floor, whimpering and crying. Ianto knelt down beside him carefully, reaching out and pulling him onto his lap. "Come on, son."

"I don't want you to go." John cried.

"I won't go far, John. I'll always be here. I promise. You can call me anytime, y'know that, right?" John nodded.

"I love you, dad." Ianto's eyes filled with tears. He looked up at Jack, Emily and Owen as he replied, "I love you too." Emily smiled, as did Jack. Owen barely noticed.

Ianto pulled John up, and Joanna stared at him. "Dad, are you going?" Ianto nodded.

"I have to, but I promise I'll come see you, everyday. If that's alright with you?" He asked Emily.

"'Course." She replied, warmly. Ianto nodded, and Joanna threw herself at him, hugging him tightly.

"I'll miss you, dad."

"You won't have time to miss me." Ianto promised. Joanna nodded, but her arms didn't loosen even slightly. Ianto kissed her on the head carefully, and then managed to unlock her arms. "C'mon, hun. It'll be okay." Joanna nodded again, her eyes watery. Ianto turned to Mattie, crouching down beside him. "You okay, champ?" Mattie nodded, but he was so close to crying, and Ianto felt so bad. He hugged his son, tightly. "Do you understand what's happening?" Matt shook his head.

"I don't understand why we can't be...a family, why everyone can't just love each other."

"Neither do I, son. But it's just the way it goes. I have to go, but I'll be back. I promise. You won't even notice I'm gone." Mattie nodded. Ianto thanked the Lord he had such wonderful kids.

"Dad?" Joanna whispered, as Ianto looked at Emily.

"Yeah?"

"Are you and Jack really...?" She paused, trying to think of the right word. Ianto looked up at Jack, grinning. Jack just stared back at him, blankly. Of course Ianto wouldn't tell his own daughter. And Jack understood.

"As weird as it sounds," Ianto started, and Jack nudged him.

"Yan, you don't have to..."

"I want to." Ianto told him. Jack smiled at him. "As weird as it sounds...Yeah. Yes, we are." Joanna seemed to consider this, head tilted on one side.

"Oh...okay then." She smiled at Jack, and then stepped forward, hugging him too. "I guess I'll be seeing more of you then." Joanna said, innocently. Jack's eyes, too, filled with tears, and he hugged her tightly.

"I hope so." He replied, looking at Ianto. _Thank you_ he mouthed, and Ianto nodded. Ianto was shocked, incredibly pleased, but shocked that Joanna had been so understanding. _I am so lucky_, he thought.

Jack and Joanna pulled apart, and Jack saw that John was looking at him intently. "I knew." John said, suddenly.

"Knew what?" Ianto asked him, but John was still staring at Jack.

"I knew it was you." Ianto did a double take, but he was used to weird behaviour with John.

"Interesting. How did you know?" Jack asked, and Ianto stared at him. He was used to just raised eyebrows and pushing the matter to one side. No one had ever actually questioned it.

"Because..." John looked around, and then beckoned for Jack to come forward. Jack stepped forward immediately, crouching down. John leaned towards him, whispering in his ear. Jack raised his eyebrows, and chuckled. He pulled away, grinning.

"Nice one!" Jack held out his hand for a high-five, which John gave him, giggling.

Ianto let out a sigh of relief. For once in his life, things were finally going right...


	20. Chapter 20

**Unfortunately, this is the last chapter of the series, but I am planning a follow up series for anyone who's interested! Thanks so much for reading, and please don't forget to check out my new series; Better Left Unsaid: ****.net/s/5756640/1/Better_Left_Unsaid****. Thanks so much! :D x  
**

Jack and Ianto kissed, breathlessly. They were back at Jack's. And being in the older man's arms, Ianto couldn't remember a time he had felt this whole. Emily had been amazing, and Ianto would always love her, in a way. But he _needed_ Jack. There wasn't a part of Ianto that didn't admire, cherish and love Jack. Ianto had never been perfect; the last few weeks had proved that. But Jack made him feel close to perfect, something Ianto hadn't felt in a long time. Ianto knew he would always love Jack, he was unlike anyone he'd ever met before, and Ianto knew he was so lucky to have someone this amazing. That's what Jack was, amazing. He always left Ianto speechless, reduced him to a nervous wreck.

As Jack broke the kiss, and stared deep into his lover's eyes, Ianto said the first thing that popped into his head.

"How did John know?"

Jack blinked. "What?"

"How did John know? About me and you, and Emily and Owen?"

Jack shifted a bit. "Ah, it's top secret."

Ianto just looked at him. "Jack. Tell me." Jack smiled.

"Quite simple, really. He takes after his dad with the super-spy training." Ianto was about to question this, what the hell was that supposed to mean, but he was too eager to know about John's little secret to care.

"I always did love James Bond." Ianto said, wistfully.

Jack raised an eyebrow, but continued regardless. "You need to stop leaving your diary lying around."

"Bloody hell!" Ianto shook his head. "I don't believe it! He...he _read my diary_?" Jack laughed.

"Smart kid."

"I can't believe he did that." Ianto said. "Bugger."

"Aw, come on." Ianto pouted. "Oh God," Jack moaned. "You know what that does to me." Ianto laughed, but continued to pout. Jack leant forward to kiss the younger man, but Ianto darted out of the way. "Oh no you don't..." Ianto grinned, cheekily, and then ran up the stairs. He didn't have to look round to know that Jack was in close pursuit...

*

Ianto woke up late the next morning, rolling over and smiling at the beautiful man lying next to him. Jack looked adorable when he slept. Even more perfect than real life. And Ianto hadn't even known that was possible.

He was pleased Jack was still asleep. He wanted these few minutes to collect his thoughts, really think this through. Emily had seemed genuine when she said he was allowed to see the kids whenever he wanted. And Jack was great with them, so that wouldn't be a problem. Clearly John adored him. And he couldn't really blame him. Joanna had taken it brilliantly, and Matthew didn't understand what was going on, which was probably a good thing.

Ianto slipped out of bed, silently, and padded down the stairs, throwing on only a pair of tracksuit bottoms which he had changed into when he was at Jack's. They had been flung on the floor after last nights...antics, and they were the first thing Ianto found.

When he reached the foot of the stairs, Ianto saw there was a wad of post covering the mat. He bent over to pick up the letters, when he heard Jack's low whistle.

"Do you have any idea what the view is like from here?" Ianto felt a smile spread across his face. He turned around, the letters in his hand. He raised an eyebrow as he replied: "I suppose you're not complaining?" Jack shook his head, immediately, practically running down the stairs.

"Absolutely not. I wouldn't dare." Jack teased. Ianto faked horror, slapping Jack's arse with his free hand as the older man made his way into the kitchen.

"What are you implying?!" He mock-gasped.

"Oh, nothing..." Jack grinned. He, too, was only in tracksuit bottoms, and he looked incredible.

"You better not be." Ianto warned, sternly.

"Will you have to punish me if I do?" Jack asked, innocently, turning and giving Ianto a winning smile as he stood in the doorway of the large kitchen.

"You may give me no choice." Ianto said, trying hard not to crack and laugh.

"Don't know _what_ you mean..." Jack replied.

"Oh, I think you do."

"Nope...not a clue." Ianto dropped the post on the side, grabbing Jack in a loving embrace. He kissed him, slowly, savouring every piece of the older man he was offered. He wondered if he'd ever get used to kissing a man. But that didn't seem to matter to Ianto anymore, he just thought of Jack as a...person. Not as a _man_. Just another person. Just another person he happened to fall in love with.

Jack was teasing him with his hands, and Ianto decided to give as good as he got. He suddenly pulled away, leaving Jack staring at him confusedly. "So..." Ianto grinned. "Post?" Jack groaned, picking up the letters and flicking through them, not looking at any of them.

"Nope, nothing exciting." Jack said, looking Ianto expectantly, but Ianto instead grabbed the letters, throwing back the ones that didn't look any good. But he stopped when he found one addressed to him. "Ianto?" Jack asked. "What is it?"

"A letter." Ianto said, quietly.

"Er, yes, I can see that."

"For me."

"Well, I suppose you should open it then," Jack said, smiling. Ianto just looked at him.

"Alright." Ianto pulled his finger underneath the sealing flap, slicing it open. A single thing fell out. And Ianto recognized it instantly.

It was the picture Mattie had drawn him, before this all started. The 'my family' one that he'd been so proud of. And peering at it now, Ianto could see his son had added someone.

Jack.

There he was, next to Ianto. The Welshman looked up at his lover, eyes full of tears. He turned the piece of paper so Jack could see it. And the smile that broke across Jack's face was blinding. "I suppose its official." Ianto said, grinning. "You're one of us."


End file.
